Friday, November 30, 2012

What's Up Doc?

So I have some time once again in Tim Hortons.  Today it's a white hot chocolate and too many cookies for one person but oh well!  There are so many things I wanna say to all the wonderful people who may read this.  I guess this will just be an update on what's been happening in the past few months and what's gonna happen in the months to come.  I totally would rather tell you what's up in person and hear what's up with you in person but sometimes it's hard to do with a toddler clinging to my leg and a baby  hanging off my arms but I guess blogging should do!  =)

Aaven: My little baby turned 3 on September 15th!!!!!  AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!  He's into fighting (probably because of the new muay thai ministry), his little babies (stuffed little animals he treats as babies . . . a little weird but very cute), and saying mommy every 23 seconds . . . literally.  He's potty training right now, yay me.  It's hit and miss . . . literally.

Myla:  She's turning 1 this December 5!!!!!!  Sooo fast!!!  She's into smiling, throwing food on the ground, and climbing up the stairs (but she's not allowed!!!!).  She's so special and awesome.  I call her my hairless, big tooth wonder.  She also learned to walk and looks like a zombie doing it!!!!  I feel sad coz it's like I missed out on her year of life coz I had to share my time with Aavs.  I miss her childhood!!!!  Jon assures me she won't remember.  =)

Jon:  My husband turned 30 on November 22!!!!!!!  I love him so much!  I am so proud of him and so blessed to be by his side.  30 wonderful years of life, 13 of them he was blessed to share with me! ;)  He's doing a lot, busy with Tuesday House Church, Thursday Muay Thai, and new ministry opportunities which he'll update the world on. =)

Myself:  As of October 8, I am a young 29! :p  Busy potty training, aiding a teething baby, supporting an amazing husband, and sneaking naps in as often as I can!  A job opportunity came up and I almost started working . . . it consisted of international traveling so it didn't happen but I think I am now mentally prepared to return to work if an opportunity arises. I originally wasn't planning to work until Aavs started school next September but if there's an opportunity, I'm gonna trade these jogging pants for jogging pants that could pass as dress pants!  =)  So, if any of you know of a job opening for admin of some sort, let me know!  =)

Things to come . . . lots of stuff I'm sure! hee hee, well, Christmas!!!!!!  We are so super excited to share Christmas again with all our family here.  It will be Myla's first winter and Canadian Christmas!!!!  Aaven sometimes wakes up crying "I'll never find winter", so I'm sure he can't wait for snowfall.

Anywho, that's all for me!!!!!  I hope you are all doing well and please let me know if there's anything for you I can pray for.  =)  You can email me at or facebook me!  Looking forward to seeing your face, yeah you, I mean you!  =)  Love and Blessings!

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Wearing Thin

How I feel on the inside, displayed on the outside. :p
I feel like a rubber band being pulled so far that I'm about to snap.  I feel overwhelmed by the little mundane tasks of everyday life.  I feel the pressures and expectations from those around me.  I feel weak.  I feel alone in a crowd.  It feels like it just doesn't stop.  And surprise, surprise, it doesn't stop.  Every day it happens all over again. Life happens.

Although this is me venting, it is also me working out loud how to help myself.  What can I do?  What is God trying to teach me?  Firstly, I hear him saying "you're doing it all wrong".  I'm doing it wrong.  I'm waking up every morning dreading the day.  I should be finding my strength in Him.  I should be giving it to Him instead of living with my feet dragging, I should be letting Him carry me.  I'm not letting Him carry me.  I'm like a kid complaining how tired I am of walking yet never asks to be carried.  Lord carry me.

I need to step away sometimes from who I am to others to reflect on who I am in Him.  Sometimes the role of being a wife, mother, friend, and so on gets to be a lot.  I feel like I have a lot to do for others, I feel like I'm wearing thin, being spread too far.  This is when I need to step back and remember who I am in Him, to focus on who He wants me to be and to find strength in Him.  Right now I'm in Tim Hortons doing that.  Finding myself in Him (and in a french vanilla cappuccino!)  I haven't blogged since June and it feels like I haven't had my own time since then. I'm sure I have, it just doesn't feel like it.

If you're reading this, I know you must be able to relate.  Life beats us up sometimes.  Life feels tiring, tearing, and troublesome. Sometimes we wake up not looking forward to the day that lies ahead.  We feel like everyday is the same old mundane routine of life, not knowing when the cycle will change or end.  It's at this point we must step away and focus on Him, who we are in Him, and what we need to do for Him.  It's all about Him, and not about us.

I feel better now.  hee hee.  After some devotion, reflection, and hardcore prayer (and chicken salad sandwich on a cheese croissant) I feel like I am reminded of what He calls me to do.  And whatever that is, I am going to do it thankfully.  As Col. 3:17 reminds me "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

As Anna Nalick sang "these are my diaries spoken out loud". Thanks for sharing my life with me!  =)

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Who Am I?

Tired mom and gooby kids. =)
I kinda don't remember who I am anymore.  I mean, I know who I am but sometimes I'm so busy fulfilling my 'role' as wife and  mother that I forget that I am Carmi, a person.  Sounds funny, I know. Everyday is the same for me.  Someone once asked what I was doing over the long weekend and I was like "it's a long weekend?" coz everyday is the same when you're a stay at home mom.  Don't get me wrong, I am blessed, satisfied, joyful, and happy being a stay at home mom.  I love my kids and I love this role God has set out for me.  It's just sometimes we moms need some time to get back to who we are apart from the hustle and bustle.

My very amazing husband offered to take the kids for a couple of hours so I could have some alone time.  He usually does this when he notices I'm crying over spilled milk (literally), putting Aaven's clothes on Myla, or I complain I haven't taken a shower in a week (gross, i know).  Now I am in Tim Hortons, reflecting on my life and the goodness of our God.  I get to eat this donut slowly without sharing, check my email without a baby tapping on the keyboard, and think about who God made me to be and what He wants me to do with it.

I am still Carmi, just a different kind.  I'm mom Carmi now. I now miss great girl time events coz of sick babies, when I go out I am on curfew coz babies have bedtimes, I have permanent bodily wiggles and jiggles and my kids can play snake and ladders on my stretch marks.  But I am still me.

On a side note, I have realized that I'm not young and cool anymore (if I ever was to begin with).  I was at a youth event a few weeks ago.  I thought I was one of the youth, just jammin to music and talking to friends.  The next day I saw one of the guys who were at the youth event and he was like "Hey, you're that mom from last night".  That mom?  I'm not that pretty girl from last night, or that cool chick hanging out last night? I'm now that mom.  It aged me instantly.  So, in conclusion, I just wanna share to whoever may read this that moms are people too. Sometimes they are people who would like to be referred to as pretty mommas, cool chicks who make chicks, and mother awesomeness. But really, moms are just like you, someone else's child.

Thursday, May 17, 2012


Life doesn't stop moving.  Time doesn't stop.  Everything keeps moving . . . and so should we.

We just moved back to Canada, we're exactly where we were 2 years ago. It's the same, but different.  God has plans, we have our paths, and we should keep moving forward.  Do new things, and have new experiences.  Our life in the Philippines taught us so many new things, opened our eyes to do things in new ways and more importantly, to not be afraid to try something new.  What I feared was that returning home to Canada would bring us exactly where we last were.  As if nothing happened.  That's a waste.  I don't want the past 2 years to feel like a waste, and it would be if we came back and did exactly what we were doing, it would be a waste if nothing changed.

Oh where has the time gone?
When stuff happens I believe God is doing something, teaching us, giving us opportunities.  I don't think He wants us to live life sitting still, I believe He wants us to do something, to keep moving forward.  When we were in the Philippines, our lives changed.  Being back home feels the same, but different. Our surroundings may be the same, but we are different.  We know we are called to do something different, to try something new, we are waiting for His timing to do so.  When something happens in our lives, let us be open to change, let us be open to movement.  Nothing stops, everything keeps moving, and so should we.  Let's move forward in our lives, let us not be stuck in a mindset, but instead let us be free to experience His ability to change us and our circumstances. Time doesn't stop, so why should we?

Friday, April 20, 2012

The Adventure Continues . . .

The best Starbucks on planet earth!!!!

I was thankful to be given an hour to leave my house and be by myself while Jon watched our attached and needy children.  I went to my favorite ‘alone time’ spot, Starbucks.  Just on a sidenote, this is no ordinary Starbucks. This is a “Cheers” kind of Starbucks where ‘everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came’.  They know my name, my order, my family, I know their names, their shifts, and their voices.  They are a home away from home.  I’ve grown to love the atmosphere there.  So I sat in my usual comfy couch with my drink and my journal.  I reflected on God’s calling to me this past year, my experiences, and the upcoming ‘unknown’.

God’s amazing.  He really knows what He is doing, especially when we do not.  We came here almost a year and a half ago thinking we knew what to expect.  This past year was the year of the ‘unexpected’.  God works, we just follow.  I am thankful for this time in the Philippines.  I’m grateful for the ministries, the people, the experiences, and the life changing shift of calling.  There are so many things I want to say, express, explain but I think it would take too long and it may be one of those things that only I’m supposed to understand coz God wrote it out just for me.  What I can say is that when we follow God, He leads us to exactly where we need to be.  We thought we knew what we needed, where we wanted to be, and what we wanted to do.  We had to let go of our own expectations in our life and be open to God’s leading.  Everything changed . . . for the better, no actually, for the best!  Thanks be to God.

Over a year ago I was pondering the unknown.  What are we going to do in the Philippines, where are we going to live, how am I going to raise my child in a country foreign to me?  All I knew for sure was that His calling is greater then my fears.  We went where we were called and are blessed by His leading.  Here I am again pondering the unknown.  We’re coming ‘home’ in about a week.  It’s funny how something I’ve known so well and called home for my entire life is now my ‘unknown’.  I don’t know exactly what we’re going to do in Canada, how we’re going to do this financially, what ministries we will begin.  We will arrive, unpack, and wait for Him.  I fear Canada as it is now my new ‘unknown’.  I don’t know what’s going on but again all I know for sure is that His calling is greater then my fears. A friend said that we’re in a good position because the less ties and structure we have in our life, the more free we are to follow His leading.  I kinda feel that way.  I feel like at this point we can go anywhere and do anything because there’s nothing holding us down.  We are free to move forward. I guess that’s what being a Christian is all about, reminding ourselves to let go of the things that are unnecessary and live freely in Christ.  I had to move across the world to really learn that.  I like how the next step is ‘unknown’ and how I feel like I have to put ‘home’ in parentheses . . . it just reminds me that we have a mission, and a purpose and everyday is an adventure.  One day I will be going home, until then there’s work to be done.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Carmi the Murderer

Don't be fooled.  She's alive!
So, I've never been called a murderer before.  Last week some random lady called me a murderer because of the way I carry Myla.  In Canada it is very normal to have baby carriers, you know, the one that you strap to the parent and the baby fits snugly and comfortably inside.  We brought a carrier to the Philippines because strollers are not so convenient when the sidewalks have motorcycles driving on them and pot holes.  We use the carrier daily, in the house, whenever we go outside, it's our life saver (especially with two kids, it frees up both hands).  Anywho, in the Philippines carriers are not common at all.  EVERY TIME we use the carrier in public we receive stares, glares, pointed fingers, and comments from strangers about how the baby is not happy in there.  We're very much used to it as it happens so often.  Last week I was walking in the mall with Myla in the carrier and a lady walking towards me screams angrily "Pumapatay" and continues to walk past me.  I look behind me to see who she could be yelling at.    There's no one there.  The only people in the hallway are me and Myla, the screamer lady, and a few workers who popped their heads out of the stores to see what the commotion was about.  By the time I realized she was referring to me, she was out the door.  Pumapatay is from the verb patay which means dead.  Pumapatay is kinda like saying 'she's dying'.  Anyways, I was so super offended, frustrated, and annoyed.  I just wanted to scream "SHE LIKES IT IN HERE" or "LET ME CARRY YOU IN HERE AND YOU'LL LOVE IT!!!!".  I hated feeling judged when it was out of ignorance.  People don't know how normal it is to use a carrier in Canada.  They don't understand that she's safe and comfortable and if she didn't like it she would be crying instead of sleeping.  She sleeps in there coz she's comfy, not coz she's dead.  I was thinking, at least I carry my own baby, everyone else here has a katulong (nanny) who carries their baby for them.  At least I raise my own children, when everyone else hires someone to raise their kids for them.  Then the ignorance slapped me in my own face.  

I'm just as ignorant.  I judge them for the way they raise their kids and they judge me for the way I raise mine.  I do not like being judged out of ignorance so I shouldn't judge others either.  I may not understand it, but it doesn't make it wrong.  Parenting is like that, I think.  I hear a lot of non mothers say things that they would and wouldn't do when they have kids.  I used to do the same before I had kids.  I hear a lot of parents say what things should be done with/for their kids and I know at times I do the same.  Parenting is just as different as the individuals who are parents.  Everyone's gonna do things differently.  I think it's fine, interesting, and fun to share stories and experiences with other parents.  I would draw the line when it comes to thinking that someone else is wrong in what they're doing and what I'm doing is right (unless it's a moral issue, some things should be universal).  One of my pregnant friends said it right when she said she'll "Never say Never".  She won't say she'll never do this or that coz things change and maybe she would do what she normally wouldn't.  Everything changes, even opinions.  I'm ignorant, I admit it.  But I still think if I put the yelling lady in the baby carrier she'd fall asleep.  =)

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Lots to do . . . nothing fits.

This is gonna be a short one.  Jon's carrying Myla, Aaven requires my attention (his puzzle apparently 'snot working'), and I still gotta clean.  There's lots to do.  A lot to do right now, a lot to do in the next 7 weeks, and a lot to do when we get back to Canada.  Right now we've just gotta get dinner done and clean the house.  In the next 7 weeks we gotta prepare our moving countries . . . nothing's gonna fit in our luggages.  When we get back to Canada, we gotta start up a different life again.  Everything changes, nothing is forever.  There's lots to do.

Just to relate it to our ministry . . . there will always be a lot to do for God.  Life changes, time moves, and the work is plenty.  Sometimes in the busy-ness of our lives we feel like stuff doesn't fit in our schedules.  When we feel like that, we've just gotta get rid of what we don't need and make the stuff that's important fit.  That's what we're gonna do with our luggage.  I'm gonna leave behind the clothes that don't fit my post-pregnancy 'I still look pregnant' body and bring a wooden boat home instead.  At least I won't have to try the boat on.
He doesn't fit . . . now to fit another kid in there too. (old pic, he def won't fit now)  hee hee

Friday, January 20, 2012

What's New?

It's a new year so what's new?  Just wanted to post an update on what's new with the Edralin family.  =)  We've been in the Philippines for over a year now and I believe I've become more Filipino.  I can now j-walk like a boss.  Cars do not scare me!!!!  I get cold in 28 degree weather and wear a jacket . . . yes, a jacket.  I'm now one of those people I used to smirk at who were wearing winter clothing while I was sweating.  I now say "for a while" when I want someone to wait a minute and I have accepted the fact that I am a "maam/sir" when being addressed by sales associates.  Philippines is a wonderful country and the people are amazingly compassionate, considerate, hospitable, and polite.  I hope to have developed these traits as well before we leave the Philippines!

Myla at 1 month (and apparently terrified of the camera)
The biggest new thing came to us at 6lbs 13oz . . . Myla Jade, our newest family member!!!!  She was born on December 5 and came really fast!!!!  I made a huge scene and delivering was definitely an adventure.  You can read more about it on our family blog, Epic Birth.  Myla is our only filipino born baby but must be canadian at heart coz she's on Toronto time.  She sleeps in the day an is awake ALL NIGHT!!!!  The joys of parenting.  She's 6 weeks right now and is a chunky 10lbs.  Her rolls have rolls and she eats like she's never had food before.   She has the biggest smiles when she sleeps, yet rarely smiles when she's awake.  She must be having good dreams.   I love her.
Aaven's big smile (clutching his "car toy" in pocket)

Aaven is doing well, making a mess as I type this.  He's funny.  When he sees the cartoon of Captain Hook on TV he thinks it's Jesus.  I don't see the resemblance.  He loves eating "noonils" which are noodles, and when he plays with his GI Joes he says they're eating rice.  I guess that's the Filipino in him. He'll stop eating if he sees crumbs, then he'll go get the dustpan and clean before he resumes his meal.  When I say something is broken or needs batteries, he ALWAYS grabs his toy drill and says "I fix".  He'll drill the thing for a long time . . . but has yet to really fix it.  hee hee.  When he gets hurt he says "sorry" but rarely apologizes when he accidentally hurts others.  He's an awesome big brother.  He loves Myla, he shows her all his toys, makes GI Joe tickle her, and he randomly kisses her and holds her hand.  I love him. 

Jon and I are getting used to our new routine of being parents of two.  Jon is awesome.  He does as much as humanly possible with the kids when he's home, then he's off using his amazing God-given gifts serving our Lord.  I am constantly amazed by who he is and who God continues to make him.  I am never short of a laugh with him around.  He makes life interesting, exciting, joyful, and adventurous.  I love him.

As for me, I'm doing well.  My eyebags have baby bags.  Lack of sleep.  My ears are now oblivious to the sound of crying, and I can now eat my meals in 2 mins or less (gotta eat fast, usually on a time crunch before a child is in need).  Although I feel the strain of being a mother, I am blessed to be one and can't picture doing anything else.  God has blessed me with the opportunity to stay at home with my children for this time in my life and I will try my hardest to not take it for granted.  You gotta appreciate what you're doing at this very moment coz this moment will pass and will never return.  =)

We are constantly seeking God's guidance in our lives.  We are asking for patience, peace, and strength as we pray that He will show us where we need to be and when He wants us to be there.  Our future is unknown to us but well written and known by our Maker.  Although our plans may not work out exactly as we expect, we are blessed because His plans always do.  =)  We're embracing the unknown and will always follow our Lord, even when we're in the dark.  Although we may not see the next step, we know we are being led by our Father who is never in the dark.  He is our light, our guide, and we will continue to follow Him all the days of our lives . . . hopefully our children will do the same.  =)

Myla chatting her Kuya's ear off.