Saturday, March 17, 2012

Carmi the Murderer

Don't be fooled.  She's alive!
So, I've never been called a murderer before.  Last week some random lady called me a murderer because of the way I carry Myla.  In Canada it is very normal to have baby carriers, you know, the one that you strap to the parent and the baby fits snugly and comfortably inside.  We brought a carrier to the Philippines because strollers are not so convenient when the sidewalks have motorcycles driving on them and pot holes.  We use the carrier daily, in the house, whenever we go outside, it's our life saver (especially with two kids, it frees up both hands).  Anywho, in the Philippines carriers are not common at all.  EVERY TIME we use the carrier in public we receive stares, glares, pointed fingers, and comments from strangers about how the baby is not happy in there.  We're very much used to it as it happens so often.  Last week I was walking in the mall with Myla in the carrier and a lady walking towards me screams angrily "Pumapatay" and continues to walk past me.  I look behind me to see who she could be yelling at.    There's no one there.  The only people in the hallway are me and Myla, the screamer lady, and a few workers who popped their heads out of the stores to see what the commotion was about.  By the time I realized she was referring to me, she was out the door.  Pumapatay is from the verb patay which means dead.  Pumapatay is kinda like saying 'she's dying'.  Anyways, I was so super offended, frustrated, and annoyed.  I just wanted to scream "SHE LIKES IT IN HERE" or "LET ME CARRY YOU IN HERE AND YOU'LL LOVE IT!!!!".  I hated feeling judged when it was out of ignorance.  People don't know how normal it is to use a carrier in Canada.  They don't understand that she's safe and comfortable and if she didn't like it she would be crying instead of sleeping.  She sleeps in there coz she's comfy, not coz she's dead.  I was thinking, at least I carry my own baby, everyone else here has a katulong (nanny) who carries their baby for them.  At least I raise my own children, when everyone else hires someone to raise their kids for them.  Then the ignorance slapped me in my own face.  

I'm just as ignorant.  I judge them for the way they raise their kids and they judge me for the way I raise mine.  I do not like being judged out of ignorance so I shouldn't judge others either.  I may not understand it, but it doesn't make it wrong.  Parenting is like that, I think.  I hear a lot of non mothers say things that they would and wouldn't do when they have kids.  I used to do the same before I had kids.  I hear a lot of parents say what things should be done with/for their kids and I know at times I do the same.  Parenting is just as different as the individuals who are parents.  Everyone's gonna do things differently.  I think it's fine, interesting, and fun to share stories and experiences with other parents.  I would draw the line when it comes to thinking that someone else is wrong in what they're doing and what I'm doing is right (unless it's a moral issue, some things should be universal).  One of my pregnant friends said it right when she said she'll "Never say Never".  She won't say she'll never do this or that coz things change and maybe she would do what she normally wouldn't.  Everything changes, even opinions.  I'm ignorant, I admit it.  But I still think if I put the yelling lady in the baby carrier she'd fall asleep.  =)

1 comment:

  1. Carmi,

    Im glad that you are enjoying your self in the land of you-can-cross-anywhere! Until now I cant get over how much ppl jwalk! I guess you'll be more filipino now compare to anyone one of us. Aaven is so gwapo and Myla well I love her rolls. Dont ever pay attention to what other say about how you care for you darling baby girl. They're just not use to it! I lived in Manila for almost 1 yr and I did things that Noah wanted done right away (breastfeeding sa loob ng jeepney)! I rarely paid attn to others! You're doing so well. And the eye bags I used to call them luggage by time I was headed back in Toronto.

    Sending all my love&prayers