Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Devotions: Wait

Scripture Reading: 
Psalm 40:1  “I waited patiently for the LORD;
   he turned to me and heard my cry.”

I’m almost 39 weeks pregnant and I’ve been waiting and expecting her to arrive every day since week 36!  I feel like I’m in limbo, in a coma like state where I can’t do anything until it’s time to wake up . . . and wake up time is when she’s here.  During this time of wait I sit, and sit, and walk and sit again.  I keep telling her to come out but I know that she’ll come when she’s good and ready and that’s in His perfect timing. 

I guess in life there are these transition phases.  A time that feels like nothingness until the next thing happens.  A time in between phases of life.  Maybe you’ve felt stuck in the same routine of life and you’re waiting for the next ‘thing’ to happen.  Maybe you’re in between making large decisions or you’re waiting for an answer to one of life’s many questions.  Whatever you’re waiting for relax and enjoy this time.  This is a time to wait on Him and His good and perfect timing.  Reflect on His words and rest in Him.  I guess it’s kinda like flying from one destination to another.  When you’re on the plane, you can’t do anything but wait to land.  You may be anxious about what awaits you on the other side but the plane ride is your time to sit back and watch movies, take a needed nap, or reflect about experiences from the place you’re leaving and preparing for the adventure that awaits.  The good thing is, you’re moving forward, towards something.  So if you’re in a time of wait like me . . . sit back and enjoy the ride, you will be arriving at your destination shortly.  “Thank You for flying Life airlines, This is your pilot God . . . you’re in good hands”.

Reflect in Action:
What do you do in your time of wait?  Maybe write in your journal reflecting on the experiences that have brought you to this point in life and committing your future destination to the only one who can bring you there . . . God.  In His perfect timing.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


I have a lot of fears about being inadequate in life.  Sometimes I go through these feelings where I think I’m not enough.  I question if I’m enough of a wife for Jon, or enough of a mother for Aaven (and soon to be Myla).  Am I who I need to be for them, am I all that I can be for them?  Am I enough of a friend, sister, daughter? 

In whatever relationship we could have, whether it be with a boyfriend/girlfriend, parent/ child, husband/wife, or in our friendships, there is a question regarding our roles.  Are we fulfilling our roles and are being ‘enough’ for that other person.  Are the other people in our lives enough for us?  Sometimes I feel like I’m not enough to fulfill my role for others.  Sometimes I get disappointed because I feel like others are not fulfilling my expectations of who they should be for me.

Then I remember . . . it will never be enough.  I will never be enough for anyone else and no one else will ever be enough for me.  Others are not meant to fulfill us entirely nor are we meant to fulfill others.  We can strive to do our best and be willing and humble enough to allow our Lord to change us in the ways He needs us to be, but I don’t think He’ll really change us to benefit others, but rather to better serve Him.  When we allow God to change us, that in turn makes us better people and allows us to serve others better . . . but not necessarily to be enough for them.  I don’t think we’re meant to be ‘enough’ for others or for others to be ‘enough’ for us because that’s His role.  God is more than enough for me, and more than enough for you.

Now as I look at my inadequacies I remember that although I can try to be the best wife and mother, I am not meant to fulfill their lives, I am only meant to try my best and hope that in turn my family will forgive me of my faults and only look to Him to fulfill them in the way they need to be filled.  I shouldn’t be enough for them; they deserve much better.  But I can hope and pray that they will grow to know that satisfaction is from Him, people will always be lacking, but He is more than enough.  Okay . . . that’s enough.  =)

Not enough ice cream.
Not the same meaning . . . but I can relate.
ENOUGH by Chris Tomlin

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You are my supply my breath of life
And still more awesome than I know
You are my reward worth living for
And still more awesome than I know

You're my sacrifice of greatest price
And still more awesome than I know
You're the coming King you are everything
And still more awesome than I know

More than all I want, more than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know, more than all I can say
You are more than enough for me